Letters Never to be Sent: #1

Dear Mr. First Love,

So many nights I woke up from nightmares about you. Every time my husband was rubbing my back and I just prayed that I didn't say your name in my sleep. I thought I could move on, and I was wrong. I knew when those dreams wouldn't go away that I would never stay married to him. I would drive to work and cry all the way there. I would drive home from work and cry all the way back. It's not like my husband was good to me anyway. His cruelty only made me miss your gentle ways more.

When he divorced me I thought it was our shot at a second chance. We were both single again. Who gets second chances? What a fairy tale world I live in! I think we will always care for each other. I know you have to finish school and start the career path you want. I know how important those things are to you. I would never keep you from achieveing the things you want. You just aren't ready for a family anymore. Sadly, I don't think a third chance is likely to happen.

I appreciate everything you've ever been to me. My best friend, a teacher, and someone I've shared love with. I love when you tell me to find someone good and wish me the best. Though it hurts to hear you say it, I love that you told me that you will never find someone as special as me. I love that you acknowledge that you know you will regret letting me go. We will ALWAYS be friends. I know if I ever needed anything you will be there for me. May Allah make you the best, and give you the best.