I Guess It's Because I've Been There...

Sort of.

I will sometimes cry (get a few tears of sadness) when I read some of the blogs of my sisters. It's not that I've had to deal with polygamy or another woman as a possible second wife. I did have a really horrible first marriage though. I never really thought that I'd see the light at the end of the tunnel. The brother was abusive and didn't want to fulfill his duties as a husband. He made me feel like a worthless human being, that's what abusers do. I sometimes read the sisters' blogs and wonder "When?". When will they find the light at the end of the tunnel? Sometimes I get paranoid. Will my husband ever do these things to me? Just the whisperings of shaitan. I have a hard time trusting men ever since my first husband. Alhamdulilah, I have complete trust in my husband. He might not think I do, but it's there. Allah gives me that security.

There are good men out there. This is after all, my 3rd marriage. The 2nd one doesn't really count, it was only one day. He did pull quite a number on me though. My husband though.... he is the one Allah has given me as a gift. He is the one that fulfills the other half of my deen. It is by giving my complete trust to Allah that I am married to this wonderful man. I only hope that my sister's out there realize that at some point, inshaAllah, it will turn right. Sometimes you have to take the tough choice though. Sometimes you have to go the way you don't want to. It's scary, there's nothing like feeling that a plan is secure. Sometimes by making what feels like the more difficult choice, Allah blesses you more and makes it easy.

I almost hate to blog about how happy my husband makes me. But I haven't always been in this place. I've lived in a miserable marriage. I wish I could share my happiness with my sisters. Those of you that are having difficult times with your marriages... Stay strong. May Allah guide you and give you patience. May Allah help to make your marriages work.