I'm a Monster

Hideous, absolutely hideous! That is all I can say. I woke up this morning with the most disgusting, nasty, irritating cold sore on my mouth. I didn't even feel the "tingle" that leads up to the dratted thing. It was just there this morning. It has to happen on the day I'm going to meet a my friend's brother-in-law! Not only that but my face is horribly broken out. My face is indicating how stressed out by everything I truly am. I have tried to ignore the stress, but the cold sore... that is a definite high-stress indicator. I haven't gotten a cold sore in over a year, they only show up when I'm stressed out to the max. I knew I was stressed, I just didn't think it was so bad to rear a cold sore.

I'll stop with that anyway. The brother has seen my picture and said I am "beautiful". My face feels like it's turning red again. We got along quite well, have similar attitudes about life, and enjoy the same things. This could be "The One". We will see, but I'm certain that if this doesn't work, I am giving up. I just can't handle the pain and heartache of getting attatched to someone and losing them. When you start talking to someone for Islamic marriage and you get along with them, it's hard if it doesn't work out. You don't really have the opportunity to carry on a friendship. You talk to someone for months and if it doesn't work, you lose a friend. That is the hardest and most difficult aspect for me. That's what devastates me the most about Mr. U. It hasn't been easy to go from talking to someone nearly every day to nothing. Crap! And I wonder why I have a cold sore! I could not take it again. Once more would be enough for me to stay single. Allah is with me, and I have faith will do what is best for me. Even if I do look like a monster today.