When It Comes From The Heart

It's strange how things will just hit me every now and again. For awhile I couldn't remember what my ex used to make me say when we drove in the car. All of a sudden it just hit me tonight. Why wouldn't I remember? I had to say it over and over again. I HAD to. Who knows what would happen if I decided not to. He used to force me to say over and over again on car rides, "SubhanAllahi wa bi hamdi, subhanAllahi azeem". We had to keep repeating it together over and over during the car ride.

There is nothing wrong with doing this, it's good to make dhikr. It's just so much better when it comes from the heart. It's so much better when you do it for the sake of Allah rather than the fear of what your husband might do to you.

I had put those words out of my mind. Even though I had repeated them over and over again, I couldn't remember what they were. It's sad that another person can take what is good and make it something you want to repress.