Have You Ever...

Have you ever been locked out of your apartment building by your spouse 3 days after you had surgery on your toes, when you had to wear sandals, it was difficult to walk, and it was freezing cold December weather?

Have you ever been beaten with a belt by your spouse and have him tell you that he will beat you to death?

Have you ever had your spouse tell you how worthless you are? Has he ever told you that nobody will ever love you? Has he ever told you that nobody will ever want you? Has he ever told you that you are disgusting and horrible? Has he ever told you all these things and then tell you that you need to stay with him because he loves you so much.




I often wonder how someone that abused me, didn't work, and didn't do anything for me could make me feel like such a piece of crap. I know that I have self worth, I know I'm a good person, and I know I deserve better than that. Love is not abuse.

That's why I refuse to accept anything less than a man who doesn't love me and treat me as I will treat him. Why would I wait for someone who doesn't know what they want from life? Why would I wait for someone who says they love me, but life isn't going as they planned?

Whether life is going as planned or not; I believe when you find someone truly special you will do what it takes to be with them. If a man doesn't want to do what it takes to be with me, then he isn't worth MY time. He isn't worth the sadness and anxiety I might feel. I deserve to be loved, and inshaAllah I will find it.