The Day My Heart Burst

It felt like a hand reached into my chest, grabbed my heart, and just squeezed it. It was the worst sensation. I know that words can not even describe this horrible feeling. How can you explain how it feels when your heart is being ripped from your chest? You just can't. How can you explain how it feels to have your heart left half-dead? I remember it so vividly though it was a few years ago. It happened the day after I took shahada and accepted islam. How do you go from the feeling like you are starting life over again one day to feeling that your heart is being squeezed the next?



My heart was left for dead....



until the other day.



Such pain. I had to hold myself up in the store, hoping nobody would notice. My heart burst, such exquisite pain, and then.... nothing.



I no longer feel. Maybe it's better this way. If I never love, trust, or care about another person again then I will never have to feel that pain again. Maybe it's just better this way.