Despite Myself

Well, despite the fact that I am a psycho jerk at work, I got a very good raise this year. Very, very good. Hmmm, apparently not everyone thinks I am that horrible! Now, if I could just find a better job! (I want to work with people who are not so crazy and unbalanced) They probably think the same of me. Oh well, can't be perfect all the time.

I have had horrible insomnia the past couple of nights. It's a really unusual type for me though. I fall asleep and two hours later wake up. I tossed and turned for nearly 4 hours after that! This has made me a little out of it, and a bit on the snippity side. Rather than swearing I make up my own phrases so I say things that often sound weird. I usually say, "son of a beaver housen". Odd, but not totally horrible. I went to the grocery store yesterday after work, I was exhausted (and cranky). I was getting a couple boxes of dry pudding mix and knocked some on the floor. I said, "Son of a.... oh dammit!" Not completely horrible. However I didn't realize there was a couple standing about 2 feet away from me. I saw out of the corner of my eye that the guy was staring at me with his mouth agape. I'm sure with my scarf on people assume that a) I don't speak English, and b) I don't say any type of bad language. Fooled that guy, didn't I? I speak English! I don't usually use that type of language though, I guess I was just overly tired. I turned to him with embarassment and said "Hi".

I managed to pass that couple in a few different aisles during my trip. Despite myself, I survived.