I Think I'm There

I think I'm to the point where I will be semi-okay.

I think the first week was denial... kind of like, "He will walk in the door any minute now. He's not really gone." The second week was more negative... kind of like, "I can't do this. I can't survive. I don't think I'm strong enough. I don't think this marriage will last." I cried a firece cry all the way to work yesterday morning. I think it moved me into a better place.

Why wouldn't I be able to make it through this anyway? I found the best person for me, I truly believe that. Nobody will ever get 100% what they want in a mate. I never thought that I would find someone so wonderful. Maybe I just thought that I would never be able to let go of the past and move on. I just have to remind myself not to take the negative out of this experience, but focus on the positive.

I just want my husband home. I asked him 3 times today, "Can you please come home now?" Sick joke I know. I just want to say goodbye to him every morning when I leave. I want to laugh with him every day. I want to start our family. I pray to Allah for strength and patience. I pray to Allah to make this easy and bring us together soon.