He's Been Accused

That's right, senator Obama has been "accused" of being a muslim. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but an accusation implies that the person is doing something bad. So, if senator Obama is being "accused" of being muslim, being a muslim is a bad thing? Way to go media! Pictures of senator in some traditional Kenyan garb apparently makes him a muslim. His father is Kenyan, but nobody mentions that with these pictures. I think it's the turban that disturbs people.... Obama and Osama must be interchangeable since they are so closely spelled.

Doesn't anybody have anything better to worry about?

A Controversial Topic

I was flipping through the channels a few nights ago, and came across "America's Next Top Model". One model on there is from an African country. When it was her turn to give the judges an overview of herself she told them about being circumcised. She talked about how strongly she felt against female circumcision, and would like to make a difference by working to eliminate female circumcision.


Ever since reading, "Possessing the Secret of Joy" by Alice Walker, I have been horrified by this topic. Female circumcision, also called female genital cutting and female genital mutilation, is different from male circumcision because it serves no health benefits.


There are 3 types of female circumcision:


Type I: The removal or splitting of the clitoral hood

Type II: Excision of the clitoris with partial or total excision of the labia minora.

Type III: Excision of part or all of the external genitalia and stitching/narrowing of the vaginal opening (called infibulation).

Type III is the worst in it's physical implications. The stitching together of the outer labia can make trouble for urine and menstrual fluid to get out. This can cause infections from being unable to clean properly.

In all it's forms female genital cutting can be very traumatic and have lifelong implications.

It's important to note that this is a cultural practice, not a religious one. Many people attribute female circumcision to Islam, and that simply isn't the case. There is one hadith that talks about it and most scholars dismiss it as being weak. Islam is a religion that respects women and doesn't promote mutilation of women. Muslim women have the right to have a good love life with their husbands, and female genital cutting inhibits this.

I guess seeing a woman on TV that went through this started to make me think. I know in Islam we shouldn't ask the "what if's" since everything is from Allah. I still had to wonder that if this woman hadn't gone through this would she have turned away from Islam? Does she attribute her circumcision to the religion? What can we do to stop this practice? I know it's being banned more and more worldwide, but what more can be done?

I Don't Even Know What To Title This Post

My mom decided to have my little brother's surprise party for him 3 weeks after his birthday. I spent a good portion of my day at the bowling alley being the photographer of the event. You can't even get all the pictures of all the ridiculous things 4 teenage boys will do. It was a very different experience. The boys kept taking each other's hats and putting them on their heads. That's when my mom turned and said, "Aren't boys different. They just really don't care." You would not have seen me putting any of their hats on my head, that's for sure. It was fun though, I loved seeing my brother surprised. He had a lot of fun too.



Later at my parents house my step-dad shocked me. I would have expected it from my mom, but not my step-dad. My mom was looking at a catalog to order some baking supplies. She asked my dad what he thought about some cake decorating tools. He said, "We don't really need those unless we're going to get some grandkids soon." Looks right at me.



How exactly am I supposed to make your grandkids when my husband is in a completely different country? I said, "You'll get grandkids when I feel like giving you grandkids!" Serioulsy? Wait until my husband is gone and then give me the grandkid guilt trip! Wait until he gets back, and then guilt us both.

I Think I'm There

I think I'm to the point where I will be semi-okay.

I think the first week was denial... kind of like, "He will walk in the door any minute now. He's not really gone." The second week was more negative... kind of like, "I can't do this. I can't survive. I don't think I'm strong enough. I don't think this marriage will last." I cried a firece cry all the way to work yesterday morning. I think it moved me into a better place.

Why wouldn't I be able to make it through this anyway? I found the best person for me, I truly believe that. Nobody will ever get 100% what they want in a mate. I never thought that I would find someone so wonderful. Maybe I just thought that I would never be able to let go of the past and move on. I just have to remind myself not to take the negative out of this experience, but focus on the positive.

I just want my husband home. I asked him 3 times today, "Can you please come home now?" Sick joke I know. I just want to say goodbye to him every morning when I leave. I want to laugh with him every day. I want to start our family. I pray to Allah for strength and patience. I pray to Allah to make this easy and bring us together soon.

COOOOOOOOOKIES!!!!

I first fell in love with the monster cookie in one of the campus cafes at the college I went to. So, naturally when a coworker later gave me a recipe I was thrilled. I've perfected it and made it my own. This is my signature cookie. My coworkers asked me for the recipe, but they never make them. They always beg me to make them!

MONSTER COOKIES

In a larger bowl mix dry ingredients together.

4 1/2 cups of oatmeal
1 cup sugar
1cup brown sugar
2 tsp baking soda

In another bowl mix wet ingredients together.

3 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp corn syrup
1/2 cup butter (melted)
1 1/2 cups peanut butter (I use the chunky because the nuts add to the texture of the cookies)

After these 2 bowls are mixed, add the wet to the dry. The dough gets a little difficult to mix, I have to use my hands. After this is done add in 1 cup of M&M's and 1 cup of chocolate chips. The reason to add these last is that they get melty if added earlier (like I said, I've perfected this). Once this is done we are ready to bake!

Each cookie is 1/3 cup. I get about 6 cookies per baking sheet. Flatten them out a little, they will bake better. Bake at 350 degrees for 14-17 minutes. This recipe makes about 2 dozen.

Enjoy!!!!!!

Seriously? It's Gonna Go Down Like This?

Let's start with Sunday, shall we? I bought new kicks (tennis shoes, sneakers) and wanted to start breaking them in. I don't like to wear them to work right away they might cause me pain. So, I decided to wear them around the house on Sunday. I was wearing them when I decided the leftover spaghetti was sounding good. Do you know where I'm going with this? Did I mention my new kicks are white? Well, now that I dropped a dish of spaghetti on them they are orange tinted!

Monday. Not the worst day ever, just very irritating at work. Nothing wanted to go right. I hadn't heard from hubby in 3 days. I was a bit cranky and emotional. Enough said about Monday.

Tuesday. Started to feel like I had never left work. I got the antsy ADHD feeling of being at work too much, where I can't sit still and do anything. Finally got to leave and the brakes went out in the car on my way home. I was freaking out. Alhamdulilah, I got home safely.

Today. I am annoyed with work. I can't be there anymore. I left without working any overtime today. I will have to be there Saturday anyway (and maybe Sunday too, woo hoo). So there you have it. I will bake cookies tonight, and then I will sleep. Ahhhhhhh.... Sleeeeeeeeeep.

A Jumbled Mess

Am I looking forward to going to work tomorrow? I most certainly am not. Am I looking forward to this coming week? Nope, not at all. I thought I was going to go nuts at work yesterday. I spent too much time there last week. Now my supervisor tells us we will probably have to work Saturday AND Sunday next week. Yay!

The only good thing about all the work is that I'm too exhausted to think about how sad I am. Too exhausted to think about how it's been a few days since I've heard from my husband. Too exhausted to look at my phone and think about what time it is there and when I might at least get an email. Too exhausted to think of anything interesting to write on my darn blog, and instead whine to the world about my problems.

I just need to keep myself positive and forward-moving. I have done the necessary steps for the crappy paperwork to get rid of some garbage in my life (not going to explain, but if you know me, you know what I'm referring to). I have my days set to spend in Egypt. I don't have tickets yet, but I carefully calculated my vacation time and took those days off from work. May 24th, I hope it comes soon. About 3 1/2 months. Which is a longer amount of time than we've been married (didn't I just write that I was going to try to focus on the positive?). InshaAllah I hope I can keep strong and positive. Separation can change you... in a good or bad way.

Drained

I'm pretty drained from this week. The emotional toll is significant, but I've also been working overtime at work every day. I've been staying 2 extra hours each day, and we have to work 8 hours on Saturday. 56 hours this week. It's been helping me to take my mind off of things. I did get to talk to my husband for about an hour and a half yesterday (finally). Hearing his voice, and hearing his laugh (his crazy laugh!), I loved it. It was what I needed to feel better about this situation. Alhamdulilah. As long as our communication remains constant I will be okay.

Life is pretty boring, there isn't much happening to write about. After all, my biggest source of entertainment is in Egypt right now. I'm planning to bake Monster Cookies to send him within the next week. I will post the recipe inshaAllah.

Abandoned

Soooooooooooo... I'm not doing the best today. I realize I will go through some different emotions. Today I feel abandoned. My husband and I don't have a communication plan worked out yet. It's frustrating. I feel like he left me and doesn't care. I know this isn't true, but it's how I feel. I know shaytan is just trying to get me going. I know shaytan likes nothing more than to wedge in between a husband and wife. Shaytan loves to break apart families. Strong families are the foundation to a solid community.

I know all of this, but I still feel crappy. I know my husband misses me. I also know that he is visiting with relatives he hasn't seen in a while. I know I have to be patient. But is it too much to ask for one small email, just a few words, so I can feel what I already know?

They Finally Came!

I have been waiting for a month now to get these papers. Alhamdulilah, they finally came. I can finally do something about my situation. I know what needs to be done and I don't have to wonder anymore. It's just up to me to get it done.

I spent some time with UmmAbdurRahman yesterday. I needed to get out of the apartment. It was really nice to spend some time with her and her son (it's been awhile, maybe too long). She made an excellent shrimp and pasta dish, super good. It was just good to hang out. Thank you again!

My Favorite Voice

It was the only voice I wanted to hear. I hadn't heard that voice in about 60 hours, 2 and a half days. I had to be awake by 3:30am for work anyway. I just set my alarm for 3, rolled over and called the number I was finally given. Alhamdulilah, there was my husband on the other end. It made it a little better. 2 and a half days of not talking to him was giving me a bit of anxiety. It will be okay, I just have to keep myself busy so I don't think about it too much.

You are right Maryam... it is just a small part of my life and I just have to keep that in mind. Thank you for your encouragement. May Allah make it easy, for both of us.