Letters I Never Wanted to Receive #1
I don't know if anybody actually reads my blog, but if you do you might recall some entitled "Letters Never to be Sent". This is my new idea of letters (or email) that I might not have needed to find in my inbox. If you happen to check out my last Friday's entry you will notice that I breifly mention not wanting to hear from Mr. U again. Guess who I received a letter from that I might have been better off without? I finally got an explanation... sort of.
Six weeks of no communication and I get an email saying how wonderful I am, and how he loves me. There is some "complication" in his life. He doesn't know how to deal with it. My best guess: Immigration issues. I already knew he didn't want to be with me to stay here. I guess if he'd rather be apart and in a different country rather than be with the person he says he loves, that's his issue.
I would have rather worked on things together. I just have to realize that everybody sees things in different ways. Why did he write? Why did my emotions have to get all stirred up again? What purpose does that info serve for me? Nothing anymore, does it? Why did I have to get an email like that on a day when my mouth is sore and I'm in a Vicodin haze?
Now that I'm not on Vicodin, I am amending this entry a bit. I am glad I got that email. It healed the wound that was left open. I don't feel the anxiety of that situation anymore. His email didn't offer anything. He simply told me that I am on his mind and in his heart. He is dealing with some stuff. He wished me the best in life and feel free to email him with anything new in my life. I'm OKAY with this. It is closure, it gave me the explanation I needed. It was a prayer answered, because I asked for an explanation... I just didn't get it as early as I would have liked.