Why, Why, Why?

Why is it that when you're planning on getting married you can't find a sheikh to do it? Why is it that they don't have voicemails so that we can leave messages? How are you supposed to ever get ahold of them? Why do I have to worry about this crap? I don't know.

What do I know?

I know that I am frustrated. I have cooked and cleaned like no tomorrow, to calm my nerves. I can barely eat because my stomach is nervous-upset. The first time I got married was in January and I got strep throat a week later. It is almost June, a coworker/friend has strep throat. I am worried that I'm going to get it. It's tweaking me out!

Tweak, tweak, tweak!!!!!!

Bocce Ball And Other Sunday Activities

Sunday was a blast! My step-dad called on Saturday to ask if I wanted to come up. They were going to buy either croquet or bocce ball, and then he was going to cook on the grill. We came together as an entire family. My sister hadn't been to my parents house since the end of December, she's been doing really well lately. I can only hope she keeps it up. She's been working for almost a year now, and just got a promotion. InshaAllah I pray she will not lapse.

My parents got bocce ball and we played. Not to the precise rules or anything, but it was awesome. We had a blast! I think we played for about 2 hours. Dinner was amazing, simple, but amazing. My little bro was not his sulky teenage self. We really need to do stuff like that more often. I cherish my family and I think this is one day I will remember for the rest of my life.

Preparations

I started yesterday by going to the shopping area near my house. My friend even joined me after a while. I was looking for things at many different stores. Just looking for now, but getting ideas. Okay I did get some shoes, they were very inexpensive, and super cute. Of course they are for the "Big Day" that I'm preparing for.

Thursday, May 31st.

I'm pretty excited.... and nervous, let's not forget nervous. InshaAllah it's all going to be fine, just fine.

It Is Finally Over

This work week has finally come to an end. It's been miserable, today was no exception. We had problems again today. It looked as though we wouldn't get the work done that we needed to in order to have tomorrow off. Somehow we pulled it off. I will not be going to that dreaded place tomorrow. Alhamdulilah. Four days of relaxation. I'm not doing anything, anything.

Haaaaaaaah... my sigh of relief.

Tornado Warnings

Let me tell you, there is nothing quite like 2:30 in the afternoon on a weekday. That's quitting time at work. I usually bust outta that place like gangbusters. Only as I was rushing towards my locker the tornado sirens went off. Yay! I enjoyed standing in the hallway with 200 other people for 40 minutes while we waited for the warning to lift. It got hot in that hallway. The only other time I've been stuck with a tornado warning was on second shift. There aren't any office people then. It's only about 10 to 15 people in the hall.

Finally freedom was declared and I booked towards the door only to see the parking lot was pretty flooded. I managed to finagle my way to my car without getting too wet.

I wonder what will go wrong tomorrow at work... every day this week it's been something.

Hmmm... it's been "whatever can go wrong will go wrong" this week.... I'm surprised the tornado didn't hit the building.

Something Unexpected

So there was a small fire in the building I work in last night. So this morning we were corralled into a meeting. There was flooding in one half the building. The people working in those areas won't be working for the rest of the week. We have to work, but will be out of work by Friday. I like paid time off.

Renewal

I got home from work this afternoon and started crying. I'm emotional right now. My tears stopped as I was surprised by these little green beauties. I opened the screen door to get a breeze as tears fell. I glanced at the hanging basket and saw little greenies! Why cry? What's the point in tears today? I actually started growing something. It's spring, the time of renewal and life. My life is certainly changing. InshaAllah it is for the better. It is my spring, my new beginning.

My New Irrational Fear

My co-worker, Marzipan, was telling me a story this past week. Her son was having a problem with his eye. His eye hurt and then eventually kept watering. He had to go into the emergency opthamologist's office last Saturday. An eyelash grew from the other side of his eyelid, on the inside!!!!!! It grew into his eye! I guess it's a very rare occurance, but I don't care. I'm now afraid of it. He had to have laser surgery to get the eyelash out. He's fine and everything. Now every time it feels like something is irritating one of my eyes (which is often because my allergies are bad) I imagine that there is an eyelash growing on the opposite side of my eyelid. And I'm not one of those kids that used to flip their eyelids over as a child (yuck), so I'm scared to check.

Not A Question I Should Ask

Can anything else go wrong?

I know I shouldn't ask because I don't really want the answer.

My friend gave me her old entertainment center because it's better than the one I have. We moved it on our own, and accidentally broke pieces off of it as we went. It's fixable and still better than the one I have. Do I wish I had never gotten the entertainment center? Pretty much.

I went to move the TV from the old center into the new one. The cable pulled out of the back of the TV, and pulled out a chunk that belonged in the TV too. So, I broke the TV. My living room was in complete disarray, and I was upset. I left what I was doing and went to bed. I went to work the next day (work is a whole other irritation that I won't even talk about) and tried to forget about my stupidity.

When I got home from work I decided to put everything back in its place. My living room was now back to semi-normalcy. I went to move some things around in my room, dropped, and broke my alarm clock. My internet wouldn't work, but that had something to do with the cable that was linked to the TV. What a pain! So, if anything else has to go wrong, can I ask that it please wait a couple months?

And So The Nightmares Begin...

My heart is over it. Why can't my brain do the same? Why do I have to be tortured in my sleep? Why does my brain do this to me when I least expect it? Lastly, why do those dreams have to be so vivid? I should be able to forget them, the way I'm trying to forget it all.

Freakin, Frackin, Crapticle!

I am so fleepin cranky right now, it's not even funny! I left work in an okay mood (how often does that happen?). Then I went to transfer the title. While I was at the good ol' DMandV I wound up super crabby. The lady helping me was unpleasant, and she wrote super sloooooooooooooooooooow. Annoying! Then she asks me about the plates on the car. Are they from Montana? Yes, they are. Does she tell me that she will be giving me new plates and charging me for them, no, she does not. I ask her when I have to get new plates, she says today. Okay, I guess I can deal with that.

Here's what super annoyed me...
The Montana plates were good until October. So they were paid for up to October. My new plates? April plates. Isn't it May? So I'm going to have to pay in 11 months versus the full year I should be given, not to mention the time they cheated up to October. They should be giving out May plates. It makes sense to me, I bought the plates in May, didn't I?

So I got on an anger spaz. It doesn't help that it's 90 degrees outside either. Grrrrrrrrr.

He's Crossed Over

My little brother has crossed over to the "weird" side. At dinner last night he said:

"Fed-ex delivery guys give me the creeps. Delivering all those packages to people's doorsteps, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh."

And he shivered like he had the chills.

The Planter Etc.

Let's start with yesterday morning. I got up early and had the balcony door open to get some fresh morning air circulating in the apartment. I live on the first floor of my building by the way. I hear the neighbor upstairs open their door, go out on their balcony and start sweeping. This is what it looks like when I look up when I'm on the balcony. See the spaces in between the wood? Yeah, so they sweep and all their dirt falls on my balcony, on my chairs, on my table, oh, and I had the door open so the fine spray of dirt starts coming in the door. I slammed my door shut. I hope they got it.

I decided to go clean my balcony today. I'm glad I have a concrete floor and nobody lives below me. I swept and cleaned, and then I decided to plant some seeds in a hanging basket my mom gave me. She had planted some stuff in it that never grew. Probably because I'm terrible at keeping plants alive. I really should have taken a picture of what it looked like before I emptied it. Here is the empty basket, so sad.

Taaaa-daaaaa! Now it has dirt and seeds in it! Exciting isn't it? Let's see if I can actually get them to grow!

Miracles can happen, right?

Words I Use

A few days ago Organic did a post about the words she uses. She cheated and only gave 3. I guess it's supposed to be 5! She tagged her readers, I'm easy I'll go with it. I'll probably cheat too, not just words, but maybe some most used phrases! So here's my list:

Craptastic: Whenever something sucks pretty bad, it's definitely craptastic!

Jackhole: This is one of my overused words. It's been played out, but I still use it when driving. Like, "Jackhole! You didn't need to cut me off!" (I know I've overused it because my mom has started calling people "jackholes").

You heard me: This is by far one of my favorite things to say. I usually use it at work. I will say something and if somebody asks "What?", I will reply with, "You heard me!" When I do this, I usually don't repeat what I originally said. I'm kind of a jackhole.

You're dead to me: This too has been in use for a while now. I say it in a joking manner if somebody does or says something I don't like. I've also got my coworkers saying it back to me. Nice, huh?

I add "pants" to the end of a lot of people's names: For example, "Organic-pants how are you today?" Or to my coworker Shelly, "Shelly-pants so nice to see you".

I hope you enjoyed my words/phrases. I know I do!

Changes

It seems that many changes are coming to my life. I'm quite happy with some decisions I've recently made. Though with some of this happiness also comes great sorrow. There are indeed consequences for every decision made. When one door opens, another one closes... you know what I'm talking about. This blog has had much to do with letting go. I believe it's something I've tried to do many times, but have yet to be successful.

Until today.

I truly believe I am done with that chapter of my life. The one that started about 5 and a half years ago. The ex-husband no longer bothers me (YAY!), I feel stronger in my iman every day (YAY!), and I feel that I have finally found out how to put all my trust in Allah. The last part may seem silly, but before Islam, I used to think I had to try to control everything in my life. Imagine how hard I took the things that went wrong because I have absolutely no control over them! I feel that I have finally let go of my need to control and am leaving myself in the most trustworthy hands of Allah. I don't even know how to describe the relief I feel in this realization. I have burdened myself with imaginary weight.

Today I feel lighter, freer, and ready to open that door and bolt through it.

Uuuuuuuuuuh......

Tooooooooo............. hot............................ toooooooooooooooooo........................ sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....................................

I had to give in and turn on the AC. Now I wait for it to kick in.................................

My Grandma Rules!

Yesterday I went to my mom's house. My grandma got there yesterday, she drove by herself from Montana. She drove to bring me her old car because they got a new one. The car isn't much newer than mine, but it's a heck of a lot nicer! I'm so excited! Grandma showed me all the bells and whistles to make sure I know how to use the car. I really appreciate that she's giving me the car, and I can't believe she drove here too.

It was a fun night. My mom made lasagna (yummy), we hung out and talked. My little brother is so much taller than my grandma knew. He's grown 6 inches since the last time she saw him. He towers over her now. I took some pictures, I got some nice ones. I had a really nice time.

Got Lemons?

Yesterday's craptastic start turned into a much better day. The best part? It just kept getting better and better. I will write more about that when I'm ready to. What else to write? Not much, gotta do laundry.

I Had It All

But it wasn't really mine to begin with.

It's gloomy this morning, no sunshine here. I thought I set my alarm for fjar only to wake up too late. My alarm can be set as M-F, Sat & Sun only, or all week long, it was on the M-F setting. I was extremely disappointed. There isn't a better way to start my day, and I missed it. I have to do laundry, I have no motivation. I'm on the computer blogging instead.

Sometimes things happen that you know are for the best, but it still sucks. It also helps if you understand why it all goes wrong, today I don't. I have a planter with dead flowers in it, that's kind of how I feel today. I bought seeds and soil to plant something new in there. I'm not sure today is the best day for that. I'm not good at making things grow anyway. I know I babble and it doesn't really make sense, to you anyway. In my head it works just fine.

Today I'll just keep wondering "Why?". I don't really expect that I'll get an answer.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?